I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
