last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
