I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
