I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
