wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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