OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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