if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
