So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
