uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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