It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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