I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
