Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
