Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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