maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
