It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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