I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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