I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We got so high we made milksteak
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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