So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
