She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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