I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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