Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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