there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we're so committed to being not committed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
