I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
