Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
