my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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