dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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