what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
