I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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