I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
