just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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