Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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