Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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