whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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