New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
