The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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