your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
