I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
