when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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