I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
