Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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