ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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