there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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