I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
