I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
