The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
