**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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