this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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