Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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