i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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