We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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