But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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