We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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