Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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