Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
