Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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