well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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