This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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