i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
