Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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