I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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