guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
