Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize