I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
